Q. I just read your article about Overcoming Premature Ejaculation, which described some drugs that a man might be able to take. The drugs were all antidepressants. I think I have a premature ejaculation problem, and for me, if I have a couple of beers first, I don’t have the problem. Alcohol is a depressant, isn’t it? Is it possible that alcohol could work as a cure for this?
A. Alcohol is not a cure for anything. It is true that alcohol is a depressant, and it may lower inhibitions and soothe some psychological causes for premature ejaculation, such as performance anxiety and the fear of failure. But this is a temporary solution, and simply serves as a way of avoiding the problem rather than solving it.
When a man has a complex about his sexual performance, it can ruin all the pleasure that comes naturally with being intimate with someone else. The man becomes so preoccupied with worrying about climaxing too quickly, he can’t enjoy himself or please his mate. In addition, having fears of not satisfying your mate before you actually start can lead to a fear of failure and performance anxiety. Once this cycle of stress is triggered, premature ejaculation is inevitable.
To break the cycle, talk to your mate. Don’t be afraid to say, “I’m worried about climaxing too soon — can we go slowly?” Then work your way into lovemaking at a pace you are comfortable with. If your mate cares for you, nothing but good will follow.
If you are still not satisfied with your sex life, then seek medical help. You might see either a psychiatrist (a specialist with a medical degree) or a psychologist or other trained therapist. But never use alcohol or other drugs as a cure. That sort of behavior has been shown to lead to addictions. If you think alcohol can make you last longer sexually, then you may need a different sort of help.
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