Archive for Mental Health

Tips on Healthy Living for Middle-Aged Men

Middle-aged Men

Diet and Lifestyle Changes for Optimum Health

Optimum health starts with a man’s observance of good habits—healthy thoughts, choices, and actions that include moderate eating, proper rest and sleep, adequate exercise and sunlight, natural supplements, and harmonious relations.

Giving up smoking, which is a self-imposed pollution, lowers risk of developing lung cancer, bronchitis, emphysema and heart attacks. Sense of taste and smell will improve and breathing becomes easy.

Here, then, are health tips to promote high-level of health, which middle-aged men can put to practice today because tomorrow can be late.

Diet and Lifestyle Leading to a Healthy Living

Healthy Eating Habits

Eat foods that are high in fiber. Fibers have cholesterol-lowering properties and are present in most fruits, vegetables, beans, and grains. A balanced diet includes carbohydrates, proteins, and fibers. A “Cut Down on” sugar intake will help prevent glucose intolerance, and tooth decay.

Since middle-aged men are salt-sensitive, use less salt and sauces in cooking as salt causes body to retain water, which may lead to high blood pressure. Use spices and herbs to flavor food instead of soya, tomato, or chili sauces. Avoid canned or salted foods. Instead, use fresh meat and vegetables.

Eat less fatty food to reduce risk of heart disease. Trim away all fat and skin from meat before cooking. Do not eat more than 2 to 3 eggs a week. Boil, bake, grill, roast or stew food instead of deep-fry. Use margarine in place of butter.

The human body needs fiber for healthy digestion. Eating more cereals, fresh fruits, vegetables prevent constipation. Avoid creamy cakes and pastries.

Drink at least eight of 8oz. of water daily to help flush out impurities from the systems. Limit alcohol intake to moderate. Alcohol abuse is the culprit behind high blood pressure and heart disease.

Natural Dietary Supplements

Food nutrients are essential for cell growth for the body to function efficiently. Daily calcium supplement is a critical factor in the prevention of osteoporosis in men. Beans, and dried peas, bean curd and soya, and leafy green vegetables are good sources of calcium.

Middle-aged men have greater risks in developing cardiovascular diseases. A daily supplement of vitamins C and E, carotenoids, as well as omega-3 fish oil promotes healthy cardiovascular functions, and normal cell growth.

Physicians of Channing Laboratory at Brigham and Women Hospital reported in the Nov. 12 issue of Archives of Internal Medicine that men who take beta-carotene supplements for an extended time have less cognitive decline and better verbal memory than those who do not. Dark green, yellow-orange fruits and vegetables such as apricots, carrots, peaches, spinach, and sweet potatoes provide the required dietary beta-carotene.

Other natural supplements beneficial to a man’s health are present in dried fruits and green leafy vegetables. Cabbage, broccoli, Lima beans, and green peas are good sources of iron, which helps make hemoglobin that transports oxygen to the body tissues. Extracts of ginger and turmeric boost the body’s resistance to both mental and physical stress. Whole, fresh garlic is beneficial to the immune system, against viruses, bacteria, parasites, and fungi.

Regular Exercise

Heart disease is lesser among men who are physically active than in those who are sedentary, overweight or obese middle aged men. Cardiovascular fitness slows the process of hardening of the arteries, reduces the risk of heart attack and stroke, keeps weight down and reduces the risk of diabetes, reduces bad cholesterol and increases good cholesterol level, and puts aging at bay.

A good exercise begins with 5 minutes of stretching exercises and ends with 5 minutes of cooling-down stretches. Remember, the aim is to exercise 3 to 5 times a week, 15 to 60 minutes each time to build strength. Choose an exercise according to body strength, endurance, mobility, and cardiovascular-pulmonary performance. Start slowly and gradually increase the amount and duration of the workout.

Healthy Relationships and Social Interactions

“Distress promotes poor health habits and heart disease,” says Researcher Peter P. Vitaliano, PhD, of the University of Washington in the May issue of the journal Psychosomatic Medicine.

Healthy relations bring about extra benefits. It enables a man to function at a high level of emotional health.

Spend time with family. Try to learn new hobbies and skills. Ballroom dancing, bonsai gardening, kayaking, or origami making are skills that make a man interesting and sociable.

Perform voluntary works. A good work is a clear statement of a vivacious spirit. Keep the mind active. The challenge for the middle-age man is to stay in touch with current events, to adapt to life, and to aspire for achievements—endeavors that are within his reach.

Healthy living helps reverse stress, and frustration that are part of middle age. Healthy relationships and social interactions can motivate men to practice healthy habits. In addition, doctor’s suggestions for diet, exercise, nutrition, and preventive health care can help prevent further health risks.

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Mentally Ill At Risk Of Violent Attack

A shocking new study published in the Lancet revealed that people with mental health problems are four times more likely to be a victim of violence than the general population.  In the report which looked at 26 studies from developed nations, as many as a quarter of people with mental health problems have been attacked in the last year.

What this research clearly demonstrates is that far from the mentally ill being a threat to society, it is society which is a threat to the mentally ill.  Mentally ill people are ten times more likely to be a victim of a violent attack than the perpetrator of the attack.

Disturbing as these findings are, they are unsurprising.  As a society we are intolerant of behaviour that falls outside fairly conservative norms.  Mental health problems often leave people behaving in apparently strange or unusual ways.  Someone who is agoraphobic is going to look pretty scared in open spaces.  Someone who is depressed is likely to be caught up with themselves, and miss out on the usual social pleasantries. We expect people to behave in a certain way, and when they don’t, we feel threatened. 

Perhaps our post industrial culture is also partly to blame.  We prize scientific rationality and are deeply suspicious of the irrational.  Indeed ‘the irrational’ is something many of the so called ‘less developed’ nations are less scared of, and this is something we can learn from.

Given that anybody can experience poor mental health at some point in their life, what is needed is greater understanding and tolerance of mental illness. 

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Mothers Who Punish Fathers.

Fiona Donnison was jailed for 32 years earlier this month for the murder of her two children. Harry, aged three, and Elise, aged two, were smothered in bedding and their bodies were found in holdalls in the boot of Donnison’s car.
Fiona Donnison
Why would a mother kill her own children? From Court it appears that it was a brutal act of revenge by Donnison against the children’s father, Paul Donnison her ex-partner. Murder, of course, is a cruel and heartless act. But there are many women who punished the father of their children with lesser acts of cruelty, such as needless Court action, inflating maintenance awards, and, of course, trying to deny the father access to his children.

A relationship breakdown is a very painful time of life and emotions often run high. When a woman uses the children as a way to punish the father, men can often feel powerless. The courts can be of no help to men in these circumstances, as the presumption is that the best thing for the children is doing what the mother wants. Men can feel desperate about their plight, even suicidal.

Even if custody is arranged, some women try to punish the father by “poisoning” the children’s minds against him. This can be extremely difficult for young minds to understand. The child loves both mommy and daddy, and to hear such character assassinations can be deeply unsettling for them.

I have heard many men talk about the pain of separation from their children, and helped them to make sense of the character assassinations they have had to endure. There is no easy way to resolve this situation. For the sake of the children though, it is important not to retaliate, however much you are provoked. The children need at least one of their parents to remain steady. Simply acknowledge and reframe her behaviour as “mommy still being angry”. Let the children know how much you still love them, and that you always want to be there for them. In this way you will become a rock of stability in their chaotic world.

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Male: The Gender Of Extremes.

Men have produced some of the most spiritually transcendent philosophies the world has ever seen. Christ, Buddha and Mohammed all lived at the dawn of history yet still remain revered by many. These were not just great thinkers, but great human beings.  But not all men are like this. The male gender has also produced some of the worst rogues on record. Two of them, in the shape of Hitler and Stalin, in the 20th century alone.

One theory is that whilst women converge to the mean on the spread of the population, men tend to have a broader spread across the population. The “average” man and woman may be the same, but the differences in spread accounts for why more men are to be found at the extremes.

Take intelligence as well documented example. On average, men and women are equivalent when it comes to IQ. Because women tend to converge to the mean, this means that in the “super intelligent” section of IQ, there is four times as many men as women. It also means that in the “super unintelligent” sector of IQ, there are also four times as many men as women. As a consequence, more men are either super intelligent or super unintelligent compared to women.

This difference in spread of IQ may help to account for why there are so many Nobel laureates who are men, but also why there are so many men in prison. Indeed illiteracy is phenomenally high in the prison population, which is, of course, a population of mainly men. Arguably you need a degree of literacy in order to participate and succeed in modern society, and indeed, defend oneself against the state. As a result there are more men who are ill equipped to succeed and prosper in society than women.

These patterns have not just been found in IQ but in other measures of personality. This does not restrict itself to psychological scores but can be seen in other areas of experience.  Take education as an example.  Girls are more likely than boys to be good all-rounder’s.  Boys, on the other hand, are more likely to be good in certain provinces of learning but bum out completely in other areas of learning.

Men, so it seems, are more likely to be found at the extremes of behaviour. As a gender, we seem to have evolved to be specialists rather than generalists.  Why this might be so, however, is an open question.  My best guess is that much of behaviour evolved as a ‘sexual ornament’ to attract a mate.  The selection pressures to develop unique talents were therefore higher for men than women.  But because you can’t be extremely good at everything, this means that men are consequently extremely bad at other things.  This might create a pressure in sexual selection toward the extremes of ability/inability in men.  But it’s just a thought.

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Can Cbt Help ‘Biological’ Depression?

We can all feel low and poorly motivated from time to time.  But for as many as 30% during our lives, our low mood and lack of motivation just won’t shift.  Often, despite our best efforts, and the efforts of those who care for us, our low moods exhaust our ability to cope.  We have become depressed.
mental health
The question for mental health practitioners is how best to help someone who has become depressed?  One treatment strategy, the medical approach, involves prescribing an antidepressant.  These work on the neurotransmitters in the brain cells to improve our mood.  The other strategy is to use a proven psychological approach like counselling or cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT).

On the face of it looks confusing for the patient.  Is my depression a biological illness, or a psychological problem?  The reality is that depression is best seen as both biological and psychological.  Just two sides of the same coin.

It is certainly true that for some patients, their depression falls more towards the biological, and for others their depression falls more toward the psychological.  One theory suggests that the more a person excretes catecholamines in their urine, the more the depression has a biological component.

For talking therapists like myself, the interesting question is, are the interventions I use effective for people with these biological markers of depression?  In a recent study by Oei in the journal Behavioural and Cognitive Psychotherapy, patients with high levels of catecholamine’s and low levels of catecholamine’s  were each given a course of CBT.  Although the high catecholamine’s group had a higher score of depression severity at the start of therapy, both groups showed the same rate of improvement overall.

What does this mean?  Well in short it suggests that CBT is an effective treatment for depression, even for people showing evidence of a high ‘biological’ component.  This will bring some comfort for those people who are depressed and don’t want to take medication.  CBT also holds the advantage that you learn the skills to stay well which, if practiced, will help keep you well for the long term.  Unfortunately with medical approaches, the depression can sometimes return once the medication is stopped.

My own view is that antidepressants and talking therapies like CBT both have a role to play in the treatment of depression and often work extremely well together.  But if you really don’t want to take tablets, CBT or counselling really is an effective option for many people.

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Are You One Of The 6 In 10?

As a blogger on men’s mental health, I’m often struck by the difficulty some men find admitting they have a problem they can’t resolve themselves.  I think some of this is cultural.  As a society we don’t treat mental health as seriously as we should.  The NHS services for mental health are often seen as the Cinderella services, receiving the least funding and overwhelming demand.    I think it’s also something about men.  Our instinct when faced with an emotional crisis is to retire to the ‘garden shed’ and try and work it out for ourselves.  But we can’t always do it on our own.
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Mental health problems affect the majority of us at some point in our lives.  A recent survey by the mental health charity Together found that 6 out of 10 Britain’s have had a period of their life when  they have found it difficult to cope mentally.  70% had suffered from stress, 59% had suffered from anxiety, and 55% from depression.

As a professional I know that it is much easier to treat disorders like stress, anxiety and depression if men present early.  All too often men present after years of suffering, which makes treatment longer, more complicated and more expensive.

Men who present early make the quickest recovery.  What’s more, the mental health skills they learn mean they are better able to cope with future problems much more effectively.  Modern treatments for things like stress, anxiety and depression are not just about helping with the current problem, but teach the skills and knowledge you need to prevent it from happening again.  I’m struck by the number of men that say to me ‘why wasn’t I taught this before’, or ‘everybody should know about this’.

My advice if you are finding it difficult to cope right now is get the right advice early.  What you learn may mean the next time you go to the garden shed to reflect on a problem, you have the right tools to know what to do with it.

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Do You Understand The Psychology Of Debt?

The emotional impact of debt can be crippling.  For many people, being in debt drains their energy and enthusiasm for life.  Our collective personal indebtedness is higher now than ever before.  But why do people get into debt?  And when in debt, why is it so difficult to get out of?

In this post I’ll explore the seduction of debt and why it has a hold over so many of us.  In my next post I’ll talk about the psychology of indebtedness, and how to beat it.

There are two psychological processes at work which encourages us into debt.

1.       Future Discounting.

This is a general psychological principle which applies to many things including debt.  For example we are all familiar with the idea that we can plan a day and find that we underestimated the time it would take to do everything.  This is an example of what I call ‘future discounting’.  In this case we predict how much work we can do in a day and discount, i.e. underestimate, our ability to do it.

The same applies with debt.  We often take on debt and we don’t really work out in detail how we are going to deal with it.  We look to the future and discount the pain of making the repayments.  If we can’t even get tomorrows schedule right, just imagine how dangerous taking on debt can be when you are ‘future discounting’, sometimes years ahead!

Of course the companies that supply credit know this principle very well.  In fact they sell to us on the basis of future discounting, and we see it in deals that supply credit cheaply for six months, then the interest rate rises steeply.  We future discount our ability to clear the debt before the interest rate rises.  It is on the basis of the steep interest rate that these companies make their money, and they know we will fall into the trap, that’s why they set it up for us in the way that they do.

The worst culprits are the ‘buy now, don’t pay anything for a year, then pay over three years’ deals.  Psychologically it ‘feels’ like it’s something for nothing … but it very much is not.  These deals often supply the lowest quality goods’ at the highest interest rates, and tie you up in debt with nothing good to show for it.

1.       Consumption and Personal Identity.

A famous Philosopher, Rene Descartes one wrote “I think therefore I am”.  This might have been true for an academic in the 17th century.  In the 21st century, it might be better to say “I consume therefore I am”.  Never have we be so brand conscious.  Kids especially are vulnerable to this.  Perhaps because they feel their ‘needs’ so acutely, and haven’t yet learnt to keep them in check, they put enormous pressure on their parent to buy the latest gadgets and clothing.

As adults we don’t escape these pressures.  We identify with brands because we want to be a part of something bigger.  Consumption of a brand is something that, in a small way, allows us to feel connected and engaged with this bigger narrative.  Of course the narratives are powerful, they promise youth, beauty, health and endless sexual triumphs.  Who doesn’t want to live the Victoria and David Beckham lifestyle?

Allowing our self esteem to be contingent on such purchases is precarious.  In order to feel good about ourselves we need to keep buying the product.  Of course manufacturers know this, that’s why nothing is made to last these days.  From light bulbs, computer operating systems and cloths, to perfumes, furniture and even cars, everything is designed to fail, fall apart and degenerate, fuelling another wave of consumption to make us feel good about ourselves.  A more secure basis for self esteem is through our relationships to other people:  being a good father, husband, boyfriend or mate.  You can’t buy these things, but being them will make you much happier than purchasing a pair of Armani Jeans on you Barclaycard.

On their own, each of these psychological processes are dangerous, put them together, and they are toxic.  What results is people who buy on credit the lifestyle they feel they deserve but can’t afford to pay back until a later.  We all know this is nonsense, but we do it all the time.  When payback time comes, we find we can no longer afford the lifestyle we need to feel good about ourselves, and this fuels further purchases on credit.

The psychology of saving is for another post, but the benefits are obvious; by not paying interest, you can actually afford to buy more!

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About Happiness

“Happiness is an imaginary condition formerly often attributed by the living to the dead, now usually attributed by adults to children, and children to adults.”

Thomas Szasz cited by Lorie, P. and Mascetti, M.N. (1986)  The Quotable Spirit – Divine, mystical and inspirational quotations.  Macmillan Publishers Ltd.: London.  p.26.

In therapy, clients often present because, in one way or another, they consider themselves to be ‘unhappy’.  When asked what they want from therapy, they often say they want to ‘be happy’.

What the quote above highlights, however, is that happiness is a slippery concept.  Rarely, if ever, can we declare our current felling state as one of ‘being happy’.  Perhaps the nearest we can achieve is to look back over our lives and attribute particular periods as being ‘happy’ ones.

But were those times really ‘happy’?  If we were to examine our happy experiences of the past more closely, we would find those periods to include other emotions like disappointment, frustration, anger or sadness.

Even when looking to our past, then, our periods of happiness seem to evaporate with closer examination.

Why, then, is happiness so illusive?

One reason, I think, is we look towards happiness as a destination … something we need to work towards, a way of being with the world that we need to achieve … something that is marked by the absence of other, less pleasant emotions.  We want to be rid of our anxiety, depressions and disappointments, and replace them with something different.

Viewed in this way, however, happiness just becomes something that, like Szasz points out above, is attributed to other people, or times and places in our lives, but never now.

If we examine our experience closely, however, our feeling states are always mixed.  We feel fear and anger and upset and resentment etc., at all times of our lives.  There are few, if ever, truly ‘happy’ moments.

What does this teach us?  My view is that happiness is way to travel, it is not a destination.  Our experience will always be filled with ‘negative’ emotions.  Simply turning away from them … or worse, wishing them away to a future without them, is ultimately futile.

It is only in accepting, feeling and experiencing our world as it is, can we come to live ‘happy’ lives.  Happiness, in other words, is not somewhere we have been, or plan to go, but it is something we do  … furthermore, it is something we do despite our difficult circumstances.

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Homosexuality Can’t Be ‘Cured’ – But Can We Accept It?

Over the last 200 years or so, there has been ongoing debate about the relative role of psychology and biology in a range of human behaviours.  Autism and homosexuality are two good examples that research has placed firmly on the side of biology.  For many years professionals tried talking therapies to help people with autism and homosexuality overcome their ‘afflictions’.  In both cases all they served to do was increase the distress of the patient, and their families, by making them feel responsible for their behaviour.
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With respect to homosexuality, the psychiatric profession for many years held it to be an illness.  This is no longer the case.  Although the causes of homosexuality are still debated in nuance, there is increasing consensus that it is biology that determines a person’s sexuality, not psychology, upbringing or indeed, personal choice.  Interestingly there are different biological reasons for male homosexuality and female homosexuality, rather than a unified reason that accounts for both.

Furthermore, a survey of all published research about therapies that have tried to change a person’s sexuality has shown that it has always failed to do so, and often causes harm.  This has recently led to the American Psychological Society issuing a declaration that therapy to change a person’s sexuality does not work, with the implication that it is unethical to try to do so.  Pressure is being put on the British Psychological Society and the Royal College of Psychiatry to issue a similar statement.

Given this backdrop it is alarming that a recent study in MBC Psychiatry found that as many as 1 in 6 therapists have attempted to change at least one person’s sexual orientation  in their professional career.  On the face of it this seems to go against the evidence.  I wonder, though, if something more subtle is going on – namely a difficulty knowing how to deal with gay clients who are unhappy about their sexuality.

In the life history of most gay men there is likely to be a period when they couldn’t accept their sexuality, and therefore really didn’t want to be gay.  The pressures of family and society to conform to a heterosexual norm seem insurmountable for many men.  It is clear that many gay clients have a lot of soul searching to do before they form an acceptance of their sexuality.  Indeed, it could be argued that many gay men, though superficially accepting and adopting a gay lifestyle, still suffer from a hangover of ‘internalised homophobia’ that continues to impact on their emotional wellbeing and ability to form meaningful relationships.

Given the very real unhappiness that finding oneself gay can bring to a person, it seems understandable, if ill advised, to try and help the person to lead a straight lifestyle.  I suspect this, rather than a real belief in its possibility, that has led so many of my colleagues to try and change a persons sexuality.

It is within this backdrop, however, that the real danger to gay men’s well-being lies – namely in those religious organisations that still offer ‘treatments’ for homosexuality. Against the grain of science but in the name of God, such organisations can only serve to enhance gay men’s unhappiness with their sexuality, and not in fact offer any real solution to it.  At best all they can hope to achieve is an asexual life where sex and relationships are sacrificed for a supposed ‘greater’ ideal of ‘what God wants’.  I can’t see this being beneficial to the individual, or, indeed, society.

Homosexuality will continue to be a contentious issue, not least because it raises tensions between individual behaviour and social and religious mores. All I can do as a therapist is help everybody, gay or straight alike, to be more accepting of homosexuality.  It is in accepting others how they really are, that we are best able to learn to accept ourselves as we really are.  Psychological health, after all, starts by seeing the world as it really is, rather than how we think it should be.

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Getting Ready For Retirement

A man knows it is time to retire when:

  • his children have already retired
  • his passion for golf exceeds his passion for his job
  • he begins to notice not only that policemen are getting younger – but even the chief of police looks younger than he does!

No man likes to be told that he is getting old – but successful aging is something that men should prepare for, from both a physical and a mental point of view. It is important to plan for retirement – perhaps even to gradually wind down rather than abruptly stop working – so that one can prepare for the time that one no longer has a regular job and has time on one’s hand. Making appropriate changes to one’s lifestyle and health care is essential.

Investing in Health

While most men understand the importance of making financial investments in preparation for the day when they will have to give up their steady job, few realise that investing in in their health is as important as investing in shares and property.

A man who spends money in the prime of life on a gym membership (and making sure this membership is utilised!) can help in preventing those chronic diseases like diabetes, high blood pressure and heart disease that diminish his chances of working longer and/or enjoying his years of retirement. Spending money on consulting a physician and having a regular check-up – rather than proudly boasting “I never need to see the doctor” – is a wise move – because many diseases when they are in the treatable stages do not cause obvious symptoms. If detected early, many of these conditions – like pre-diabetes, high blood pressure, prostate cancer etc – be cured or managed effectively so that they do not kill or maim a man in the prime of his life.

As a man gets older both his physical and mental capability slow down – so it is important that he continues to exercise both his body and mind regularly. If you don’t use them you will surely lose them!

Physical Exercise

Physical exercise – whether walking, swimming, cycling, ballroom dancing or some similar form of aerobic activity – is vital in maintaining a man’s physical fitness. It is equally important to undertake regular resistive exercises (push ups, squats, lifting weights etc.) to keep the muscles strong and in good tone – because human muscles tend to get smaller and weaker with the gradual fall in male hormone levels that naturally takes place as a man ages.

As important as keeping the muscles and joints exercised is mental exercise – keeping the brain challenged and active.

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Whether one does crossword puzzles or sudokus – or participates in mind- exercising activities like Bridge or Scrabble – or undertakes intellectually stimulating courses through an organisation like the University of the Third Age – it does not matter as long as the brain cells are kept active.

If you fail to plan for retirement, you are planning to fail – in achieving a healthy and successful retirement!

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