Q. My husband and I are both 28. We were both virgins when we married three years ago. He has always experienced delayed ejaculation even after prolonged foreplay and intercourse, which has frustrated him. Recently, I have been giving him “hand jobs” with startling results — instead of the usual one or two teaspoonfuls of ejaculate, copious amounts of a translucent liquid come out, and I am also able to give him multiple ejaculations. This surprise discharge ONLY occurs after prolonged lovemaking, followed by my hand job with lubricant. However, my husband is worried that he’s urinating on me during these awesome orgasms, and this has tempered his enjoyment. I say he’s ejaculating semen, but he says he has trouble believing this because of the great volume of discharge. Could you please calm his fears? These genital massages are a delicious tool in our lovemaking.
A. I can assure you men do not urinate during orgasms. Neurologically, the pathways for urination and ejaculation are different. The nerves that control ejaculation cause the bladder to relax and the bladder outlet (bladder neck) to stay closed. Therefore, men do not have to worry about urinating while they have an erection — physiologically it is not possible.
Commonly, couples have this concern about the pre-ejaculate fluid, which is clear and watery. It usually precedes orgasm and semen ejaculation. Normally, a man produces varying amounts of this fluid from secretions in the seminal vesicles and periurethral glands. This is completely normal and may even contain sperm. For a deeper understanding of similar issues, see our article on fluid discharge before ejaculation.
During ejaculation itself, about 3–5 milliliters (roughly a teaspoon) of semen is expelled. However, large amounts of ejaculate can be collected depending on the intensity and duration of stimulation. The natural process might occur as follows: stimulation of the erect penis begins the secretion of fluid from the periurethral glands and prostate. This fluid accumulates in the prostatic urethra, which can hold up to 75 milliliters (about 15 teaspoons). Only a small portion leaks before climax, and the rest is released at orgasm.
The amount of fluid produced depends on how long stimulation continues before orgasm. For instance, most men climax in 90 seconds, producing small volumes. However, when stimulation is prolonged and highly arousing — such as with extended sexual activity and muscular control — secretions can increase dramatically. This results in an abundant, watery ejaculate during climax, which is completely normal.
It’s also worth noting that each man’s pattern of ejaculation can vary based on frequency, hydration, and hormonal factors. Some conditions, like sluggish ejaculation or delayed orgasm, may contribute to changes in fluid volume and consistency. These are rarely dangerous but can sometimes be linked to lifestyle factors or medication side effects. If in doubt, a doctor may recommend a semen analysis or prostate evaluation to confirm normal function.
For medical reassurance, you can review the Mayo Clinic’s guidance on male reproductive health and ejaculatory function, which explains how these processes differ from urination.
In conclusion, what your husband is experiencing is a normal physiological reaction to extended stimulation and heightened arousal — not urination. Your shared exploration is healthy, pleasurable, and within the range of normal male sexual response.