Research by Tony Cassidy and colleagues at Ulster University, reported in Therapy Today, suggests that families with more girls may fare better through divorce because girls are said to encourage a more “open attitude” and talking about feelings. The implication is that this communication helps buffer some of the stress of family breakup.
The article then generalizes that boys—like many men—tend to keep problems to themselves and try to work them out alone. That broad pattern is familiar enough, but it’s easy for a headline to slide into an unhelpful narrative: if “sisters make people happy,” does that mean boys (and later, men) make people unhappy? Framing it that way isn’t just unfair; it muddies a useful conversation about how different emotional styles can be supported.
What the headline misses
- Different isn’t worse. On average, boys disclose differently than girls, and many prefer side-by-side or activity-based conversations to intense face-to-face talk. That’s a style difference, not a moral failing.
- Context matters. Family stress, norms around “toughness,” and how adults respond to boys’ first attempts at sharing all shape whether they open up later.
- Evidence over caricature. The American Psychological Association’s guidance on boys and men underscores that supportive, non-shaming approaches help boys develop healthy emotional literacy without asking them to stop being themselves.
How to support boys’ emotional health (without shaming them)
- Match the medium to the kid. Some boys talk best while doing something—walking the dog, driving, shooting hoops. Use movement as a bridge to conversation rather than insisting on a “sit-down talk.” If you’re curious about why the “boys don’t cry” script sticks, this explainer digs in: Boys Don’t Cry?
- Name feelings in plain language. Short, concrete prompts (“Looked tense after school—was it anger, worry, or something else?”) beat lectures. Normalize a full range of emotions.
- Offer nonverbal outlets. Journaling, making music, or exercise can regulate mood and make talking easier later. Regular activity also supports mental health—see Exercise Helps You Beat Depression for practical ideas.
- Challenge stereotypes gently. Replace “man up” with “how can I help?” and model help-seeking yourself. For a wider look at how cultural scripts shape men, try The Straw Man of Masculinity.
- Keep the door open during divorce. In times of family change, predictable routines, honest age-appropriate information, and multiple ways to share (talk, text, notes) help boys feel safe enough to speak.
So…do boys make people unhappy?
No. What Cassidy’s findings may point to is that certain communication styles buffer stress better under specific conditions. That’s a prompt to expand the ways we invite boys to communicate, not to grade boys’ emotionality as “second best.” Headlines that pit one style against another trivialize a serious issue and risk alienating the very kids who need support.
Let’s use the research as intended: to refine how families, schools, and therapists reach boys—on terms that feel authentic to them—so that all children come through tough times with resilience and connection.