Across the last two centuries, people have argued about how much biology and psychology shape human behavior. Sexual orientation is now widely understood as a complex, natural variation in human experience—not a disorder to be “treated.” Attempts to “cure” homosexuality have repeatedly failed and, more importantly, have caused harm.
What the Evidence and Ethics Say
Homosexuality is not an illness. Major health bodies are clear that efforts to change sexual orientation (often called “conversion” or “reparative” therapy) are ineffective and carry risks such as shame, depression, and fractured family relationships. For a succinct, research-grounded overview, see the American Psychological Association’s resource on sexual orientation change efforts.
Why Attempts to Change Orientation Persist
Some clients—often under intense cultural, religious, or family pressure—arrive in therapy hoping to become heterosexual. Clinicians who are uncertain how to respond may be tempted to collude with that goal. But the ethical path is to reduce distress without promising impossible outcomes. That means helping the person explore values, safety, and self-acceptance, and strengthening supportive relationships.
Internalized Stigma Is Real—and Treatable
Many gay men describe periods of profound conflict before accepting their sexuality. Even after “coming out,” internalized homophobia can linger, undermining mood, intimacy, and belonging. Effective therapy focuses on:
- Self-compassion and mood support: skills that steady the nervous system and build resilience (related read: mindfulness for mood).
- Healthy embodiment: tending to sleep, movement, and stress to support mental health (see Active Body, Healthy Mind).
- Emotion-friendly spaces: creating room for honest feeling without performance pressure—crying can help some, but it isn’t a litmus test for healing (more on men’s emotional styles in Boys Don’t Cry?).
Respecting Belief While Protecting Well-Being
Tensions inevitably arise between personal faith traditions and sexual orientation. Good therapy does not mock belief or identity; it helps clients live with integrity while rejecting practices that promise “change” and deliver harm. Supporting adults to form safe, loving relationships—of any sexual orientation—is a public-health good.
Bottom Line
Sexual orientation is not a pathology and cannot be “cured.” Our task—as clinicians, partners, families, and communities—is to reduce suffering by replacing shame with acceptance, isolation with connection, and fear with informed, compassionate care.