What traits reliably predict attraction—and how should men interpret the research?
Several studies have explored what makes men appear more desirable to women. One line of research (e.g., work attributed to Mark Prokosch and colleagues) suggests that, when observers watch short clips of men doing routine tasks, those who come across as more intelligent tend to be rated as more attractive. Observers are often surprisingly accurate at estimating a person’s cognitive ability from brief behavioural samples—though “intelligence” here is an impression, not a full IQ assessment.
Intelligence and perceived desirability
Why might intelligence signal desirability? From an evolutionary point of view, cognitive ability can be a proxy for problem-solving and long-term resourcefulness. In everyday life, it also often correlates with curiosity, competence, and good judgement—qualities many people find appealing in a partner. Classic cross-cultural research has long shown that intelligence and kindness/understanding rank highly in mate preferences across societies, reinforcing that this isn’t just a Western stereotype.
Of course, attraction isn’t purely cerebral. Nonverbal cues—posture, facial expressiveness, and how someone moves—also shape first impressions. If you’re curious about movement and attraction specifically, see our deep dive on dancing and the signals women notice.
Generosity and prosocial signals
Generosity and other prosocial behaviours can function as honest signals of reliability and social value. Acts like sharing time, helping others, and showing consideration suggest a partner who is cooperative and emotionally available. Some evolutionary psychologists (for example, Geoffrey Miller) have argued that altruism can be sexually selected because it advertises underlying resources or character strengths.
Generosity doesn’t mean grand gestures—it shows up in small, consistent behaviours: keeping commitments, listening well, and being fair. Those day-to-day cues are often more persuasive than flashy displays.
Practical takeaways
- Invest in your mind. Curiosity, learning, and good judgement tend to read as attractive. That might look like structured courses, reading widely, or simply asking better questions in conversation.
- Practice everyday generosity. Reliability, kindness, and prosocial habits are attractive over both the short and long term.
- Mind the context. What’s “attractive” can change with goals (short-term vs. long-term). For long-term compatibility, cues like values, communication style and even subtle biology-linked signals may matter—see our guide to long-term mate choice cues.
Nuance and limitations
These studies typically use brief videos or lab scenarios. They show correlations, not destiny. Culture and personal history shape preferences, and there is wide variation among individuals. It’s also worth challenging narrow cultural scripts about what men “should” be; intelligence and generosity can sit comfortably alongside confidence and authenticity—more on that in our article on masculinity myths.
Bottom line: If you’re aiming to increase your appeal, cultivate genuine curiosity and consistent kindness. Those signals are attractive across cultures and tend to hold up beyond the first impression.