Author: fitness-expert
There is lots of advice on how to manage debt. There is little help for people to understand the emotional impact of debt. After all, debt is just a number, and you owe them the money and can’t pay it back, isn’t it they who have a problem … not you? In my last post I offered some advice about why debt is seductive. We can all fall into it. In fact those that sell debt want us to be seduced – and they are very skilled at knowing how to do it. If you are in debt and struggling…
The emotional impact of debt can be crippling. For many people, being in debt drains their energy and enthusiasm for life. Our collective personal indebtedness is higher now than ever before. But why do people get into debt? And when in debt, why is it so difficult to get out of? In this post I’ll explore the seduction of debt and why it has a hold over so many of us. In my next post I’ll talk about the psychology of indebtedness, and how to beat it. There are two psychological processes at work which encourages us into debt. 1. …
Easy Home Remedies for Skin Moisture Loss The absence of sufficient water in the skin’s top layer can make the skin dry. Dry skin is the effect of several factors such as harsh climate, strong detergents, poor diet and hot showers. Heated or air-conditioned air may cause skin to lose its moisture. The dry air, extreme cold, and harsh wind can dry the oil secreted by the sebaceous glands meant to lubricate the surface of the skin. Dull, dry skin on face is also the effect of smoking and excessive sun tanning beds. The heat from these elements dries up…
“Happiness is an imaginary condition formerly often attributed by the living to the dead, now usually attributed by adults to children, and children to adults.” Thomas Szasz cited by Lorie, P. and Mascetti, M.N. (1986) The Quotable Spirit – Divine, mystical and inspirational quotations. Macmillan Publishers Ltd.: London. p.26. In therapy, clients often present because, in one way or another, they consider themselves to be ‘unhappy’. When asked what they want from therapy, they often say they want to ‘be happy’. What the quote above highlights, however, is that happiness is a slippery concept. Rarely, if ever, can we declare…
Conventional opinion has held that children of absent fathers are more likely to sexually mature earlier, and have their first sexual experience earlier, than children of fathers who remain in the family. The conclusion has always been that it is the absence of the fathers that cause the early sexual maturation and activity. New research is suggesting that this might not be the case. Jane Mendle examined data from the US National Longitudinal Survey of Youth and compared the age of first intercourse with genetically related individuals such as twins, sisters and cousins. What the researcher found was that the…
Over the last 200 years or so, there has been ongoing debate about the relative role of psychology and biology in a range of human behaviours. Autism and homosexuality are two good examples that research has placed firmly on the side of biology. For many years professionals tried talking therapies to help people with autism and homosexuality overcome their ‘afflictions’. In both cases all they served to do was increase the distress of the patient, and their families, by making them feel responsible for their behaviour. With respect to homosexuality, the psychiatric profession for many years held it to be…
What kind of dad are you? Research is beginning to show that the kind of parent you are is to some extent controlled by a number of key hormones. In the journal Hormones and Behaviour the anthropologist Alexandra Alvergne studied the level of the hormone testosterone in men’s saliva, and how this correlated with family behaviour. On average, the higher the levels of testosterone in the saliva, the less time and money the man invested in their wives and children. Another study, by Ruth Fieldman, reported to the Society for Research in Child Development in Denver, Colorado, indicated that when…
One thing has struck me over the years in my practice with men, they don’t cry very often. For sure I always have a box of (man sized) tissues strategically placed so that, should my client wish to cry, he can. When I was training I was told that crying is a good thing. It releases tension, helps you to connect with your feeling, and the crying process itself serves to rid the body of unhelpful toxins. In fact we were trained in how to spot when someone was about to cry, and how to help them do so. So…
A man knows it is time to retire when: his children have already retired his passion for golf exceeds his passion for his job he begins to notice not only that policemen are getting younger – but even the chief of police looks younger than he does! No man likes to be told that he is getting old – but successful aging is something that men should prepare for, from both a physical and a mental point of view. It is important to plan for retirement – perhaps even to gradually wind down rather than abruptly stop working – so…
As a men’s psychotherapist, I have talked more often to the media about sexual addiction than any other topic. This is strange really because the assumption is that it is only men who become hooked on inappropriate sexual activity. In fact 40% of sexual addicts are women. Women’s patterns of sexual addiction might be different to men’s, but they suffer in almost equal measure. Having said that, this article is about sexual addiction in men, and if you are a man who thinks you have a problem with sex, you have come to the right place. So what kind of…