Author: Troy Browning

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is an anxiety disorder effecting about 2% of men. It’s characteristics are repeated and uncontrollable ‘obsessions’, which are intrusive thoughts that are not consistent with the man’s values, and ‘compulsions’, which are behaviours or thinking patterns that people use to neutralise the impact of the compulsive thought. Examples of Obsessions include: Examples of Compulsions include: Of course OCD is just an extreme form of what we all are capable of doing. We are all familiar with the idea of setting off for the airport and getting anxious about whether we have locked the door or turned…

The Emergence of a Cultural Label Over the past year, I’ve watched with growing unease as the term “feckless father” has taken root in popular culture. It’s a phrase dripping with contempt—one that suggests men who are careless, irresponsible, and morally lacking. Yet, behind its casual use lies a deeper cultural double standard that deserves to be examined. We all agree that children need active, loving fathers, but the debate has become unbalanced, focusing almost entirely on male failure while ignoring the broader context of family breakdown. Understanding Father Absence and Its Impact There’s no doubt that growing up without…

When Fantasy Replaces Reality In my 20s, a sudden illness left me bedbound for months and unable to work for much longer. My world stopped spinning, and I feared losing both my job and my home. During this difficult time, I found myself clinging to an unexpected coping mechanism — the National Lottery. I had my “magic number bowl,” elaborate plans for spending millions, and even made spiritual bargains, promising to donate part of my winnings if fate intervened. It didn’t take long to realise that this fantasy was doing more harm than good. Each unfulfilled draw deepened my despair.…

You might have thought that being a psychotherapist I would have lots to say about being happy. This isn’t strictly true though. Therapists, if I were to be precise, know a lot about unhappiness. Theories abound explaining our depressions, anxieties, and problems in living. We don’t have a particularly good grasp of happiness, which is kind of strange since this is what most of our clients are searching for. Martin Seligman is an unusual psychologist in that he has devoted his career to researching happiness. His book, ‘Authentic Happiness’, promises to reveal what makes a person happy and is packed…

The emotional impact of debt can be crippling. For many people, being in debt drains their energy and enthusiasm for life. Our collective personal indebtedness is higher now than ever before. But why do people get into debt? And when in debt, why is it so difficult to get out of? In this post I’ll explore the seduction of debt and why it has a hold over so many of us. In my next post I’ll talk about the psychology of indebtedness, and how to beat it. Two Psychological Processes That Pull Us Into Debt 1) “Future” (Delay) Discounting This…

With the passing of the new year my attention turned to what I want to achieve in the next twelve months. Yet again I find myself resolving to go to the gym more often, and when there, work harder for longer. What is it I want to achieve while I’m there? Well for me the most important reason for working out is that it improves my mental health: a good workout gives me a sense of achievement, purifies my body of stress toxins, and releases the ‘happy’ chemicals, endorphins, that lift my mood. Then there is looking more attractive: as…

As a younger man I never felt at home on a dance floor—too shy, too clumsy, too self-conscious. With time (and a few forgiving dance floors) I learned something useful: you don’t have to be a professional to make a positive impression. A little rhythm, relaxed movement, and confidence go a long way. What the research shows Studies suggest that the way men move can signal underlying qualities that many women find attractive. In one experiment, men were filmed dancing and also tested for physical strength (e.g., grip strength). Women who viewed the dancers tended to rate stronger men as…

In much of Western culture we’re encouraged to “be ourselves” at all costs. We learn to curate likes and dislikes, to defend our preferences, and to assume that more ego is always better. Yet our attachment to a rigid sense of “me” can also narrow our options for growth. Understanding ego strength—our capacity to regulate impulses, tolerate frustration, and stay integrated under stress—offers a more balanced route to becoming fully human. What we mean by “ego” Here, “ego” isn’t vanity. It’s the organizing part of the mind that helps us manage reality, relationships, and inner life. Healthy ego strength stabilizes…

Iron Man Family Outing: Poems about a transition into a more conscious manhood by Rick Belden is a candid, often raw collection that charts one man’s attempt to understand the legacy of a difficult childhood and become a healthier adult. Belden writes about a father he experienced as “angry” and “unavailable,” and how an idealized comic-book hero—Iron Man—became both shield and mirror as he grew up. The result is a poetic memoir of healing that will resonate with readers exploring how early experiences shape adult life. What the book does well Belden’s poems move between memory and insight, showing how…

I recently revisited two classics by peace activist and Zen monk Thich Nhat Hanh—books that return, again and again, to a simple idea: cultivate mindfulness in everyday life and you become more fully alive. His pages read like gentle invitations back to the present moment. A life of engaged Buddhism Thich Nhat Hanh became a novice monk in Vietnam in 1942 at the age of sixteen. During the war he helped shape “engaged Buddhism,” inspired in part by Gandhi—leaving the monastery to meet the needs of people displaced by violence. His peace work later brought him to the United States,…