Q: My boyfriend is only 17 and cannot get an erection. I thought only older men had this problem. What could possibly be causing this? I fear that I am not attractive to him, or perhaps he is cheating on me. Am I the cause of the impotence? Is there anything I can do? I try to talk to him about it, but he just gets quiet or frustrated.
A: You must be patient. At 17, there are very few physical causes for erectile dysfunction (ED). Most healthy teens experience normal erections, especially during sleep or upon waking. However, injury, surgery, or congenital issues involving the penis can occasionally cause dysfunction. Hormonal causes such as testicular failure are rare, and if he went through puberty normally—with typical body hair, voice change, and sexual desire—then a hormonal imbalance is unlikely. You can read more about nocturnal erections and how they reflect normal function in Erections During Sleep.
Psychological Causes of Teenage Impotence
The most common reason for erectile problems in young men is psychological. Anxiety, stress, and relationship pressure can heavily impact arousal. Performance anxiety—worrying about being able to perform—can paradoxically make erection more difficult. Fear of failure often leads to a self-fulfilling cycle of avoidance and frustration. It’s important to remember that this is very common and treatable. In some cases, therapy or even simple relaxation and open communication can make a big difference. A look at Roids, Bigorexia and Men’s Body Image shows how self-perception and confidence can affect sexual and emotional health in men.
Building Confidence and Reducing Pressure
You are almost certainly attractive to him, and there’s no reason to assume infidelity. Avoiding pressure is key—let him know that intimacy doesn’t have to mean sex right now. Creating a safe, relaxed environment helps most young men overcome temporary impotence. Encourage him to talk with a counselor or doctor if the problem persists. Regular exercise and good lifestyle habits can improve both mood and confidence. For instance, Exercise Helps You Beat Depression explains how physical activity boosts mental and sexual well-being through better circulation and stress reduction.
According to the National Center for Biotechnology Information (NCBI), psychological ED is particularly prevalent among adolescents due to stress, anxiety, and unrealistic expectations fueled by media. Early counseling and reassurance often resolve the problem without medical intervention.
Final Thoughts
Teenage impotence is usually temporary and reversible. Communication, patience, and emotional support go a long way. If physical causes are ruled out, therapy and stress management can restore both confidence and healthy sexual function over time.